Mommy Neurosis

It's not very often that my neurotic mommy side completely takes hold and I have a complete panic attack about things. However, this morning it did. Today, KiKi was on the bus for the very first time. My baby is getting on the bus! Of course when I realized all this I had a complete melt down. Is the bus driver just going to throw her on the playground and hope that she makes it to her class? Will she remember to line up with her class? Will she forget her things on the playground? Will she cry? Will she wonder where I am? Gah!!!!

So of course I did what any logical parent who is having a massive crisis of convictions does, I called my best friend who's child is also on the bus and made her ask her daughter to look out for my daughter. Then I made LaLa promise that she wouldn't abandon her sister on the playground and look out for her. Then I talked to KiKi and explained that I wouldn't be there and that she was a big girl and that she needed to find her teacher on the playground.

I am still sitting here panicking a bit. I am sure she will be fine. I am still panicking though. She's gonna be OK, right?

What I Plan On Doing The First Day of School

My kids start school tomorrow. They need to go to school. They want to go to school. I am tremendously excited for them and for me. I am already planning for my first day of freedom in 6 weeks their first day of school.

8:45- Take kids to school

9:15- Arrive home

9:16- Check email and Facebook

9:16:05-Send tweet about my kids being at school.

9:30- Watch a movie. Probably tweet while watching the movie.

11:30- Contemplate lunch.

11:35- Make lunch and eat without interruption.

12:00- Consider a nap

12:05- Take nap.

2:00- Wake up. Watch more TV.

3:00- Remember that I have to get the kids from school.

3:15- Go get kids.

Basically, I am doing all the things that I couldn't do while they were on their summer break. I don't normally have a day like this, but I think I will make an exception for tomorrow. An entire day of laziness without having to hear this:

Did I mention that they totally want to go back to school? Happy days!

An Apology to my Mother

I want to take this opportunity to apologize to my mom for all the awful music that I made her listen to when I was a kid. I am sorry for the car rides where I made you blast New Kids on the Block and Debbie Gibson. I am sorry about blaring my Tiffany tape in my room. I am sorry that I listened to the Dirty Dancing tape until I knew the words to every single song. Actually, I am not really sorry about that. It was a really good soundtrack.

I am apologizing for all of this because LaLa has in the last year discovered her own teenie bopper idols that she is now worshiping. Justin Beiber, JLS and Taylor Swift are the artists that make up this fresh hell that I am drowning in. Their crooning about teen aged love and catchy songs about getting on the dance floor make me want to hurl LaLa's CD player across the room.

Of course I won't. I will just grin and bear it. I will tell her to turn it down or go play it in her own room with the door shut. I will pretend that I am enjoying it in the car. I will take it all with good humor. I will also apologize to my mom for being a pain in my mom's rear end.

Sugar and Spice? My Left Foot, Sugar and Spice.

I have now made LaLa leave the dinner table twice because of bad manners. My generally well behaved child has horrible table manners. It hasn't always been like this. She knows better. I guess I could blame it on her age, but I think it has more to do with the fact that other than her best girl friend, she likes to chum around with the boys at school. And boys think that burps are funny.

I don't. OK, if you can't help it, like if you have drank a fizzy drink, a little burp and an excuse me don't bother me at all. However, she has started doing ginormous earth shattering burps at the dinner table and then cackling in her chair like it is the funniest thing ever. At first I would just tell her "say excuse me", which then progressed to "that's gross, you need to say excuse me" to "that is really gross lala, if you do it again you're going to be in trouble" and now to "get up from the dinner table and go sit on your bed, I can't handle you being gross while I am eating". She is still cackling about it by the way. It doesn't seem to faze her that she is getting in trouble.

This behavior is also rubbing off on KiKi of course, because LaLa is her hero. She also however says sorry when I give her the "I'm very cross" look, so there is hope still to nip this one in the bud. I am just at a loss as to what to do with LaLa now. What would your next move be? I thought little girls were supposed to be made of sugar and spice and everything nice, not hot gas and apparently amazing abdominal strength.

Fleeting Moments

What does a mother feel when she realizes that her children are maturing right before her eyes? Is it a sense of pride? I just know that in the last couple of days I have witnessed my girls growing right before my eyes and it feels wonderful.

On Sunday, LaLa came down with a rash from head to toe. Normally this would be cause in her mind to send her into fits of crying. She would rage against being sick and turn her inner frustration into outward frustration causing everyone around her to be as miserable as she feels. This time it was different. She took it in stride. She sat in the waiting room of the emergency room patiently, even though she was so itchy she could barely stand to be in her own skin. She didn't complain much. She kept her self preoccupied by reading books and coloring in order to avoid being consumed by the uncomfortableness of the situation. I was proud. I was so incredibly proud of her.

Then today, KiKi relayed a story about how LaLa's best friend had asked where LaLa was because obviously she wasn't in school. Apparently, KiKi has grown up to the point where she can relay a story clearly enough to her peers that they know exactly what she is talking about. It was so clear that LaLa's mate's mother sent me a message via facebook to check to see how she was getting on. I was impressed. We parents know that getting a story straight out of a four year old sometimes can be like pulling crocodile teeth. I am proud of her.

Sometimes I think that I get so caught up in everyday activities that I miss little moments like these to be proud of. Sometimes I don't take the time to see my little ones growing up before my eyes. I have always had people tell me with wistfulness in their eyes recalling their own children growing up "It goes by so quickly" and guess what? It does. I really does go by so quickly.

Round and Round We Go

If you spin yourself around long enough an fast enough eventually you will get dizzy and possibly sick. Right now I am dizzy from parenting; on the verge of being sick. I feel like I keep fighting the same battles over and over again. Sometimes there is a great success in the household (like when KiKi started wiping her own bottom- nearly thew a ticker tape parade for that one) only to be followed by an "Oh my goodness are you kidding me" string of events.

Lately, bedtime has been a theatrical event at my house. LaLa has never been a great sleeper even at the best of times. She has always been the one to wander out of bed, make requests, stall...stall... stall. KiKi on the other hand if sufficiently worn out goes to sleep very quickly. Lately, LaLa's sleeping habits have been rubbing off on KiKi and bedtimes have gone from barely acceptable to a not so funny comedy of errors.

My evenings have gone from a couple of reminders that it is bedtime to evenings starting with reminders and escalating to shouting. I really hate shouting. I used to know exactly what to do to ensure a quick bedtime. The Wii was a wonderful bargaining chip. Right now revoking privileges doesn't work. The Wii has lost it's bargaining sway. I am struggling to find the girl's new "currency". So until I find my new bargaining chip, I guess we shall continue to go round and round. I just need to make sure I keep my head clear enough that I don't get sick.

Who is in Control?

Every parent has had that moment where their child is acting so badly that they want to melt into the floor and disappear. I know I certainly have, in the middle of a McDonald's in London. Children have their good days and their bad days, and well, don't you ever have an "off" day? Hell, I was having an "off" day this morning when I woke up with too little sleep, no caffeine in the entire house and I knew that I had promised my children that I would spend the morning at their school for "Share Day". All I really was going to be sharing with the rest of the people around me was my piss poor attitude; apologies to those who were subjected to it.

Kids are allowed to have a bad day. However, I wonder at what point do you said "Right, enough is enough with your behavior, we're going home," to your child? Is it at the point where it is just mildly annoying to you? Do you wait until it is affecting those around you? Do you ever just say, "Eh, kids will be kids," and let them continue running amok? Have you ever had your child hit or shout at you in public?

I am of the thought that if it is annoying me, then it is annoying those around me and needs to stop. Of course I have flexibility, to an extent. I am not some sort of drill sergeant barking out orders to my kids in the middle of the grocery store. Yes, my kids have taken off running down the aisles, but they have been promptly reprimanded for their actions. I am also my harshest critic when it comes to disciplining my own children. I second guess myself all the time. Was I too harsh? Was I too soft? At least I know I am trying. I guess, I just don't understand parents who let their children get away with causing chaos in public.

In the last week I have gone out shopping and more than once seen children just being horrible and their parents not even noticing. They just ignored it. I am sorry but, get your kids under control so I can shop in peace. I, for once, didn't have my children in tow. Frankly, I didn't feel like enduring badly behaved children. Now, I know that might sound horrible on my part. To be fair though, I usually can ignore children whilst I am out and about. They are usually no more than background noise. I am a mother though.

What I worry about is how this affects the people around us who don't have children or people have grown children and don't necessarily find your children as adorable as you do. As it is, I have sometimes found some places the UK less than welcoming to children. This is of course in comparison to the US where public places almost beg you to bring your children along. I can't help to fret with the state of discipline being what it is right now, both in the US and the UK, with parents tending to want to be their child's friend rather than their parent, that public places and shops are going to become even less accommodating toward parents. That would be a shame, wouldn't it?