Mommy Neurosis

It's not very often that my neurotic mommy side completely takes hold and I have a complete panic attack about things. However, this morning it did. Today, KiKi was on the bus for the very first time. My baby is getting on the bus! Of course when I realized all this I had a complete melt down. Is the bus driver just going to throw her on the playground and hope that she makes it to her class? Will she remember to line up with her class? Will she forget her things on the playground? Will she cry? Will she wonder where I am? Gah!!!!

So of course I did what any logical parent who is having a massive crisis of convictions does, I called my best friend who's child is also on the bus and made her ask her daughter to look out for my daughter. Then I made LaLa promise that she wouldn't abandon her sister on the playground and look out for her. Then I talked to KiKi and explained that I wouldn't be there and that she was a big girl and that she needed to find her teacher on the playground.

I am still sitting here panicking a bit. I am sure she will be fine. I am still panicking though. She's gonna be OK, right?

Dear So and So...Little Ball of Stress

Dear LaLa,

When I tell you to quit horsing around at breakfast time I am serious. I don't know why you are so hyper in the morning, but goodness gracious child my brain can't cope. Please just sit there and eat your breakfast like a mindless zombie like other people in the morning. Or at least wait until I have had a cup of coffee before you kick off.

Love, Your Mother Who Is NOT A Morning Person
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Dear Brain,

When you give me weird dreams don't expect me not to act on them.

Writing Furiously, Kat
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Dear Sam Kitty (Ninja Cat),

When I pull into the driveway it is not a good time to run directly *at* the car. You see those big round black things? They're called tires and they will run you down. Mind you I wouldn't run you down on purpose, but running at the car is a bad idea. Bad bad bad bad idea.

Love, The Woman Who Feeds You

PS- You still haven't stopped that moaning meow that we talked about last week. We need to work on that, k?
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Dear KiKi,

I know you're not really *that* "sick" but we all need mental health days off school. You're lucky I'm a softie.

Love, Mom
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Dear PTA,

I think next year we need more worker bees and less queen bees if you're getting my drift. I know it is good to have a strong personality, but I think we all need to tone it down a bit and find one or two strong leaders. I think it would cut down on a lot of hurt feelings and miscommunication.

Just a thought, Kat
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Dear Readers,

If you have any letters of your own, don't forget to link up!

Love, Kat
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Sugar and Spice? My Left Foot, Sugar and Spice.

I have now made LaLa leave the dinner table twice because of bad manners. My generally well behaved child has horrible table manners. It hasn't always been like this. She knows better. I guess I could blame it on her age, but I think it has more to do with the fact that other than her best girl friend, she likes to chum around with the boys at school. And boys think that burps are funny.

I don't. OK, if you can't help it, like if you have drank a fizzy drink, a little burp and an excuse me don't bother me at all. However, she has started doing ginormous earth shattering burps at the dinner table and then cackling in her chair like it is the funniest thing ever. At first I would just tell her "say excuse me", which then progressed to "that's gross, you need to say excuse me" to "that is really gross lala, if you do it again you're going to be in trouble" and now to "get up from the dinner table and go sit on your bed, I can't handle you being gross while I am eating". She is still cackling about it by the way. It doesn't seem to faze her that she is getting in trouble.

This behavior is also rubbing off on KiKi of course, because LaLa is her hero. She also however says sorry when I give her the "I'm very cross" look, so there is hope still to nip this one in the bud. I am just at a loss as to what to do with LaLa now. What would your next move be? I thought little girls were supposed to be made of sugar and spice and everything nice, not hot gas and apparently amazing abdominal strength.

Fleeting Moments

What does a mother feel when she realizes that her children are maturing right before her eyes? Is it a sense of pride? I just know that in the last couple of days I have witnessed my girls growing right before my eyes and it feels wonderful.

On Sunday, LaLa came down with a rash from head to toe. Normally this would be cause in her mind to send her into fits of crying. She would rage against being sick and turn her inner frustration into outward frustration causing everyone around her to be as miserable as she feels. This time it was different. She took it in stride. She sat in the waiting room of the emergency room patiently, even though she was so itchy she could barely stand to be in her own skin. She didn't complain much. She kept her self preoccupied by reading books and coloring in order to avoid being consumed by the uncomfortableness of the situation. I was proud. I was so incredibly proud of her.

Then today, KiKi relayed a story about how LaLa's best friend had asked where LaLa was because obviously she wasn't in school. Apparently, KiKi has grown up to the point where she can relay a story clearly enough to her peers that they know exactly what she is talking about. It was so clear that LaLa's mate's mother sent me a message via facebook to check to see how she was getting on. I was impressed. We parents know that getting a story straight out of a four year old sometimes can be like pulling crocodile teeth. I am proud of her.

Sometimes I think that I get so caught up in everyday activities that I miss little moments like these to be proud of. Sometimes I don't take the time to see my little ones growing up before my eyes. I have always had people tell me with wistfulness in their eyes recalling their own children growing up "It goes by so quickly" and guess what? It does. I really does go by so quickly.

Dear So and So...Good Morning Pfft!!!

It's Friday! Time for Dear So and So... Are you ready to get out your weekly frustrations as much as I am?? In the words of the immortal Diddy "Let's Go!!!!!!"


Dear 7am,

I hate you. I hate you with the fire of 1000 suns.

Still Sleepy, Kat
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Dear Alarm Clock,

You and I have a tenuous relationship to say the least. You wake me up in the morning. I cuss you out. You forget to wake me in the morning. I cuss you out. You keep bugging me every five minutes. I cuss you out. Just remember, no matter what I say I am actually grateful that you wake me up and I really hate 7 am more than you.

Sorry for the Foul Language, Kat
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Dear Weather in My Part of the UK,

Why is everyone else getting snow and I am getting rain? I am starting to think there is some sort of unusual weather phenomenon that is occurring and my part of England is destined to say unsnowed upon. It isn't fair. I want a snow day. See previous letters for the reason why. (I'm looking at you 7am).

Love, Kat
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Dear KiKi,

If I catch you riding your scooter in the house one more time I am going to give it to the charity shop. Actually, I'm not, idol threat. I will put it on top of the wardrobe and not let you even look at it though! HaHa take that mouthy four year old!

Love, Mom
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Dear LaLa,

If I had known that threatening to not take you roller skating on Friday would get you to actually go to sleep on time and stay in your own bed all night I would have used it a lot sooner. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out! Well played, La, well played.

Love, Mom
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Dear Readers,

I hope you all had a really Happy New Year. If you however have some gripes about how this year is starting off so far, be sure to write your own Dear So and So letters. If you have already wrote your letters be sure to link up!

Love, Kat
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We're In For A Rude Awakening

We (we, meaning LaLa and I) are in for a rude awakening once school starts back up. She and I have both been staying up entirely too late at night. I have to admit, she is doing worse on the bedtime front than I am. She has been stalling bedtime until nearly 11pm for the last week. I am an adult, so I am allowed to stay up til 1am if I want. She is a child and should be in bed no later than 8:30pm tops (in my perfect world where there are unicorns, rainbows, pink kittens and sparkles all the time).

To say that we have been sleeping in a little would be an understatement. We haven't been getting out of bed until the God awful entirely too early hour of nearly 10am for the last week. I haven't been setting my alarm clock and I don't get out of bed until one of my kids prods me if my alarm isn't set. KiKi has been getting up at her normal weekend time of about 8:30-9am. However, KiKi isn't a kid that will prod me to get out of bed. She prefers to play quietly in her room until I get out of bed (the child is an angel, seriously, doesn't get into things, just plays in her room). So, I sleep. Then I get a crack of daylight peeking through my blackout curtains and know that it is entirely too late in the morning to be sleeping. Let's face it folks, I live in England, if there is light coming through your curtains on a winter morning, it is well past 9am. Then I prod LaLa out of bed, with her moaning about how she is "exhausted" and needs "just a few more minutes" .

So what I am basically trying to say is....Tuesday, January 4th, when the kids go back to school, LaLa and I are going to be in a world of hurt at 7am when the alarm clock goes off. Who wants to bet we are late to school?

Things I Learned Over Christmas

I had a wonderful Christmas and here is a list of things I have learned over this holiday...with pictures (of course).

1) It is impossible to keep the kids away from their stocking while their dad is in the loo.



2) Santa is goooooood.



3) Zhu-Zhu pets look like prey to Sam Kitty.



4) Bags are good hiding places.



5) Cooking for 16 people isn't all that bad. I might moan about it, but I secretly loved every minute of it PLUS it got me out of most of the house cleaning.



6) Ethan does smile every once in a while.



7) Kevin might be a pirate.



8) Friends are the family you choose.



(That's Robin and Debbie. They're pretty damn awesome.)

Dear So and So...Ooooo You're my Best Friend

Hey! It's time for Dear So and So....you ready???

Dear Those in Car Parks,

Yes, I have had many gripes about parking areas in the years past. However, I must point out that if parking is in really close quarters you shouldn't open your door as fast as possible. My poor Jeep does not appreciate the paint transfer.

Just Pointing Out Common Courtesy, Kat
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Dear Beast,

You kinda smell like Fritos. Maybe it is time for a bath?

Your Human Mama, Kat
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Dear Sam Kitty,

Yes, it really is that cold outside. Yes, that is ice. Sorry for the inconvenience, Your Highness.

Love, That Woman Who Feeds You, Kat
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Dear LaLa,

As much as I am tickled pink that you are enamoured with math, really, I am, 10pm is not the time to be sneaking in in extra math exercises. You are more than welcome to do math problems when you get home, before school....well, basically anytime other than when you are supposed to be sleeping. Falling asleep in class is counter productive, trust me on this.

Love, Mom
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Dear Electric Company,

I swear all these lights that are on are not my fault. They are also not the fault of the shorter winter days. They are the fault of my 4 year old daughter who insists upon turning on the lights in every single room she enters. Bill her.

Fed Up, Kat
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Dear Readers,

Please don't forget to link up your letters!!!

Love, Kat

Umm...nooo...excuse me.

I was sitting at the table this morning after breakfast, well after the children ate their breakfast, drinking a Cherry Coke Zero (breakfast of champions) and I got this huge air bubble trapped in my tummy. You know what I am talking about. One of those air bubbles that is going to come out no matter what you do to stop it.

BURP!

"Dad, was that you?!!!" LaLa yelled from the living room.

"Ummm...no. Dad already went to bed. Excuse me."

"But Mom, (she actually said Mum but I still refuse to acknowledge that) only boys burp like that!"

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In other news today the girls have to dress up as characters from their favorite books at school. KiKi is being Alice in Wonderland and LaLa is being Ariel from The Little Mermaid (cause I couldn't find any other costume without a stain on it).




After this picture of the girls was taken, LaLa went and nicked a sip of my Cherry Coke Zero (my precious) when she thought my back was turned. Cheeky monkey!

RTT-Swirly Thoughts

Good morning ladies and gents. I haven't don't Random Tuesday Thoughts in a while so I thought I would give it a go and see what materializes. It is like Forest Gump said "Life like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get," only with thoughts. Oh and go visit the grand dame of RTT Keely. She doesn't bite...hard.



- At night I swear I am going to go to bed by 10pm and never make it there before midnight. Ever. You know what they say about the road to hell* and all... hell being the next morning when I have to wake up at 7am.

- Last night I got a horrible belly ache around 9pm. I then sat on the couch willing myself not to be sick whist watching Britain's Next Top Model, Dating in the Dark and then some documentary about the lack of equality in the British school system...no wonder I was so ill.

- My washing machine is on the fritz. I can't call the repair man until this next load of laundry is finished washing though because it has all my jeans in it. Can't go pick up KiKi in my knickers (fortunately for all those around me).

- It took me 2 hours to help clean** LaLa's room last night. Maybe inheriting that huge tub of Littlest Pet Shop toys from my friends tween was a bad idea. There is around 150 of JUST the animals not including all their little accessories. Pain in my rear. Just say "no" to LPS.

- KiKi got her first reading book with words. The second time reading through it she started to recognize the words mum, and, & dad by sight. W00t!!

- LaLa is studying Pablo Picasso at school right now. She spent two days drawing a "Picasso" picture for her teacher, not because she was assigned to do so, but because she wanted to. It was really sweet this morning when she presented it to her teacher and her teacher exclaimed "What a beautiful Picasso!!"

- Rain rain go away, come again another day. Seriously. I can't handle anymore rain right now. Plus it is destroying the bottom cuffs of my jeans....hence why all pairs of my jeans are in the wash.

*The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

**By help clean I mean I sat the the middle of the floor and directed traffic***

*** By directing traffic I mean I barked orders at LaLa and reminded her that her Wii was going to be mine until she got her room clean and kept it clean for a week.

Nightly Conversation

Every night me and KiKi have the same conversation and it goes like this:

KiKi- Mom how old are you?

Me- 29.

Her- Oh, ok.

She asks me this same question each time, each time the answer is the same. Last night I changed it up on her...big mistake.

KiKi- Mom how old are you?

Me- KiKi, how old am I? I tell you every night, so how old am I?

KiKi (looking at me bewildered yet thoughtfully)- 35.

Maybe I should answer from now on.

Dear So and So...I Told Ya So

Dear KiKi,

Dude, that was not a "I just fart". Not. At. All.

Love the Chief Butt Wiper, Mom

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Dear Vanish Carpet Cleaner,

Waste of money. Whole bottle, no "extra" dirt out of the carpets. You stink.

Dissatisfied Customer, Kat

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Dear 409 Carpet Cleaner,

You may take a little extra elbow grease, but ya work. Thanks.

Happy Customer, Kat

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Dear Finance Dept.,

Screw you and your bureaucracy. It's been 2 months since Sweden already. That is all.

Where's my Money, Kat

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Dear Readers,

Grab the button from the sidebar, tell off those who annoy you, praise those who need praise and then link up with Mr. Linky.

Love Ya Mean It, Kat

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Dude, We Have A Problem!

So I was sorting through my deleted emails and I came across a peculiar file.  I was suspicious because it was a really large file and was addressed to KiKi in the subject line.  Now, I get a lot of weird emails, but none are usually addressed to my youngest daughter.  It was also a really large file, too large to be just text.  Curiosity got the best of me and when I opened it I found THIS!

I was confused.  Did I miss or accidentally delete an email from Captain Dumbass?  Certainly not.  I IM'd the Captain and come to find out he had found a similar file.  Check it out here.  It appears that our little angels are communicating.  What they are up to is anyone's guess. 

Memo to KiKi

Dear KiKi,

The jig is up! I found that "news letter" from the "International Toddler Association". It was the one that had pointers on how to delay bedtime. Ha! I am on to you now! Just so you know I canceled your subscription to this "fraternal organization of toddlers in solidarity against the oppression of parental units". Where did you get the $34.95/per month membership fees from anyway?

From now on there will be no delaying bedtime. We will not be going back and forth about if you are hungry or not. "My hungry" is no longer a valid excuse. You ate dinner and had dessert, you are not hungry. "Mine juice" is no longer a valid excuse either. You have a sippy cup filled with water next to your bed for emergencies. Also there is no need for 15 different stuffed animals in your bed. You have a toddler sized bed, there is not room for you and half of your animal collection in the bed as well. You are now narrowed down to one baby doll and 2 stuffed animals of your choosing. I recommend "puppy" since he has been a constant companion for the last 4 months and "bear" who you have seemed to have developed a liking for recently as well. You will receive a potty break before bed. We will then put on a new diaper. Once this new diaper is on, unless there is a serious body waste emergency, you will not be granted leave from bed.

Nap time will now be strictly enforced. You will be in bed by 13:00 and will have an hour and a half to complete your nap. While this is a reduction in allotted nap time I am sure it will be more conducive to your sleeping needs.

Consequences for non compliance are the following: forfeiture of cuddly animals, earlier bedtimes, and revocation of dessert. Complaints may be made known to me in person or in writing. However, due to the dark circles under my eyes and snippy disposition you may want to forgo the right to complaint and comply with the new rules and standards.

Hugs and Kisses,
Mommy

(Maternal Managerial Unit)

Joy to the World!

It's Christmas Eve! My stockings are hung, my presents are wrapped and plans have been made on how to spend our first Christmas in England. Tonight we are going to attend church on base with the girls. It is a candle light service, which is what we usually attend when we are back home in South Carolina. The base church seems to be really nice and when "the Man" and LaLa went to check out what time the services would be starting one of the lady's from the church invited him and LaLa in for lunch and dessert. I think we will probably start attending church on base because I am not sure what other churches are in the area.

Anyways, after church, we are going to come home and let the girls open one present. This is something that my family has always done. After church we always just open a single present, then it is off to bed so that Santa can come.

On Christmas morning we will open all of Santa's presents and the rest of the presents from the family. This might take a while judging by the stack of gifts under my tree. Seriously, it looks like Christmas came into my house and threw up underneath my tree. I am totally not complaining. It is just kinda funny cause I have this little 5 foot tree and it is being overwhelmed by the presents.

After presents, we will pack up the girls and go to Domino's house for Christmas dinner. OK, I am from the south. Dinner to me is anywhere from noon-2pm (supper is at 6 pm when all the northerners are having "dinner")(sorry about the tangent there). Anyhoo, we are going to be keeping it fairly simple this year for Christmas dinner. Ham, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, scalloped potatoes, corn, rolls, pie.....yeah ok, so it is still gonna be a lot of food. I guess after we finish dinner we will waddle into Domnio's living room and exchange the gifts that we got for each other. By this time it should also be late enough that I can call my family and not wake them up. Of course the idea of calling them at 9am my time also makes me giggle to myself. Can you imagine being on the receiving end of that.

Mom-*phone ringing looking at the clock which says 4am, picks up the phone* *groggy* Hello?
Me- MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Kids sing Jinggle Bells for MiMi!
Kids- *singing* Jingle Bells Jingle Bells!
Me-Aren't they great mom?
Mom- I am so going to take you out.

I would be living in fear until I saw her in July. It would sooooo be worth it.

So that is what I am going to be doing this Christmas. What are your plans?

Dinner Interupted

It started out as a normal enough Friday last winter. My husband was deployed to Guam, but it had already been 4 months since he had left, so I was pretty settled into a routine. The kids had colds but nothing too serious. KiKi had been running a low grade fever on and off, nothing big. I could handle this. Around 4pm I decided to head to the commissary because I was not liking the looks of anything in my fridge for dinner. You know what I am talking about. You go to the fridge, take a look, shut the fridge and come back 3 min later hoping something else magically appears. Well nothing had magically appeared so I got my kids ready to go out. Coats, shoes, hats. I had them bundled up good because it was freezing outside.

At the commissary I did my shopping. KiKi was whining a bit because she didn't want to be in the cart and she was starting to sweat. I took off her hat and she felt a little warm. I figured her fever was coming back and we would get a dose of Tylenol when we got back to the house. Nothing big I could handle it. I got to the register and started unloading my items onto the cashiers conveyor belt. I took a look at the kids and noticed KiKi was just not right.

She started slumping into the blue seat of the car cart. Then her eyes started rolling into her head. By the time I pulled her out of the cart she was completely limp and not breathing. I started to scream for someone to call 911. The cashier helped me lower her little lifeless body onto the conveyor belt. I was a mess. I was crying and praying for my angel to be alright. Her little lips were starting to turn blue. Out of nowhere a man appeared. He must have come from another checkout line. He announced that he was an eye doctor over at the medical group and he started checking her vitals. He told me to try to calm down and that she still had circulation going to her fingers. The manager of the commisary came and said the ambulance was on its way. About this time KiKi started coming around. She had this completely dazed look on her face and was scared. She was crying. I was also crying. I then heard the sirens of the ambulance and the doctor and I hurried her outside. He gave the paramedics her vitals and I gave them her personal information. Within minutes they were on their way to the hospital and I was following behind with LaLa in our personal vehicle.

I made a call to The Man on the way to the hospital. It was early Saturday morning and he was on a WW2 sightseeing trip with a few of his buddies. He immediately got a friend to take him back to his dorm so that he could be on alert if anything else happened. He couldn't do much from Guam but he wanted to be available in case anything changed. Once he hung up with me, he called his first sgt and some of his shop friends who were still state side. One of our friends met me at the hospital and took LaLa for me so she wouldn't have to sit in the hospital. The First Sgt. also showed up ready to help any way he could. Another friend showed up to keep me company while we waited for test results on KiKi.

KiKi was fine once her fever came down. She had a febrile seizure. Her fever had spiked so quickly that her little body couldn't handle it. I felt like a horrible mother because I had taken her out shopping when she was sick. Then I realized, if I had stayed home, I wouldn't have had a doctor or any of the others to help me. I would have been alone. The commisarry had actually been the perfect place for this to have happened at. I was never alone throughout the entire crisis. I may not have had my family present, but I had my Air Force Family. They circled the wagons in my families time of need. It is what they do.

Last week I ran into the manager of the commissary and he recognized me. He asked how KiKi was doing and what exactly had happened. I explained it all. The bagger who was helping him with my groceries also remembered the incident. When she was helping me out to the car she told me that out of the three years she had worked at the commissary, that was her most memorable moment. It was my most memorable moment at the commisary as well. Go figure.