Mommy Neurosis

It's not very often that my neurotic mommy side completely takes hold and I have a complete panic attack about things. However, this morning it did. Today, KiKi was on the bus for the very first time. My baby is getting on the bus! Of course when I realized all this I had a complete melt down. Is the bus driver just going to throw her on the playground and hope that she makes it to her class? Will she remember to line up with her class? Will she forget her things on the playground? Will she cry? Will she wonder where I am? Gah!!!!

So of course I did what any logical parent who is having a massive crisis of convictions does, I called my best friend who's child is also on the bus and made her ask her daughter to look out for my daughter. Then I made LaLa promise that she wouldn't abandon her sister on the playground and look out for her. Then I talked to KiKi and explained that I wouldn't be there and that she was a big girl and that she needed to find her teacher on the playground.

I am still sitting here panicking a bit. I am sure she will be fine. I am still panicking though. She's gonna be OK, right?

What I Plan On Doing The First Day of School

My kids start school tomorrow. They need to go to school. They want to go to school. I am tremendously excited for them and for me. I am already planning for my first day of freedom in 6 weeks their first day of school.

8:45- Take kids to school

9:15- Arrive home

9:16- Check email and Facebook

9:16:05-Send tweet about my kids being at school.

9:30- Watch a movie. Probably tweet while watching the movie.

11:30- Contemplate lunch.

11:35- Make lunch and eat without interruption.

12:00- Consider a nap

12:05- Take nap.

2:00- Wake up. Watch more TV.

3:00- Remember that I have to get the kids from school.

3:15- Go get kids.

Basically, I am doing all the things that I couldn't do while they were on their summer break. I don't normally have a day like this, but I think I will make an exception for tomorrow. An entire day of laziness without having to hear this:

Did I mention that they totally want to go back to school? Happy days!

Primary School Hurdle

Every parent has a bit of worry when their child starts proper "big school" (elementary/primary school). Most worry about if their child is going to be ready for the work, the long days, be able to socially adjust and if they will make friends. I am not worried about any of this. I know KiKi will adjust. She is a very flexible child, well about most things. There is one thing though that is potentially going to sink my little "happy my child is growing up and going to school" boat. She won't wipe her own butt when she done with her "business".

Don't laugh. This is very serious.

This morning she and I had a fifteen minute standoff in the bog because she wouldn't take the toilet paper and wipe her butt. I stood there with loo roll in my hand trying my damnedest to hand it to her. Her flat ignoring me screaming at the top of her lungs to me to wipe her butt.

Me: KiKi take the toilet paper and just wipe your butt.

Her: "NOOOOO, YOU WIPE MY BUTTTT!!!"

Me: KiKi, I can't wipe your butt while you are at school. You need to do it. Take the TP and wipe.

Her: "IF I DO POOP I WILL GET IT ON MY HANDS!!! WIPE MY BUTTTTTT!!"

Me: I am not wiping you. Wipe your own butt. I can't come to school with you to wipe your butt for you.

Her: "WIPE MY BUUUUUTTTTT!!!!" *eyes at this point about to bulge about her head*

Continue this conversation for another fifteen minutes with me eventually leaving the bathroom to load the washing machine while she continued to screech for me to wipe her bottom. I gave in. I know, bad mom giving in, but really it was just ridiculous to watch her sit there with her legs dangling from the toilet seat and screeching her head off.

So, to recap, my goal this week: getting my child to wipe her own ass. For some reason I think I have a better chance at making sun set in the east.