Birthday Wars

At LaLa's school they have "Birthday Lunches" for the children.  Yes, it sounds nice in theory, but let me explain the problem.  At the beginning of the year in LaLa's Reception class there were 27 children, but most of them left at lunch time (as they were only 4 years old) and went home.  That left 12 kids for lunch and the remainder of the day.  For a "Birthday Lunch"  the child is allowed to pick 8 kids for their table at their special lunch.  Most of the time at the beginning of the year the parent of the birthday kid would generally just pick up the tab and pay for the other 4 children to join in at the birthday table.  Now, all the kids stay all day.  It has made these "Birthday Lunches" quite a problem.  They have become competitive.  

Lets say "Johnny" is having a birthday and he picks 8 kids to attend.  Now there are 19 kids left out.  The parents mumble "so is your child going to Johnny's birthday lunch?"  If it is a no and your child is a girl they say something like "Oh he must have just invited the boys..."  If you say yes, then they say something like "Oh...alright" and you can tell they are mulling it over why their child was not picked.  If both parties got invited it is like they are in a special club together.  

Now frankly, LaLa could care less if she is picked for a "Birthday Lunch" cause she doesn't like eating the school's hot dinners.  She would rather have her packed lunch of a peanut butter sandwich, YoGo Bits, and crackers and cheese.  She likes it when she is picked, but she always complains that she doesn't want the hot dinner.  I usually pack her lunch even if she has the Birthday Lunch but she always returns home with it.  I assume she eats what she is given, but the child is picky, so I dunno.  

This week LaLa was picked for two "Birthday Lunches".  Actually, she has been picked for most of them this year.  While I love the fact that her peers like her, I am sick of having to rationalize the fact that she got picked while another child has not been.  When she isn't picked, to me it is just not a big deal.  Maybe she just isn't very good friends with that child or maybe that child just ran out of places for their friends; not a big deal.  I hate the competitive moms who have to judge all the children and why they were picked or not picked.  It is another version of the Mommy Wars that is being propagated by the schools shortsighted policy.  It just makes me glad that LaLa's birthday is near Christmas and therefore during a school break and I don't have to deal with it.