Dear So and So...Just A Few Things

Dear LaLa and KiKi,

You may as well sit down, this is gonna be a long one. I know that you guys see me as some sort of domestic slave, but I'm not. I am also not a short order cook. When I wake up in the morning I would like at least five minutes to get myself together before you start hounding me about things. I mean really, I just need a cup of coffee before you start coming at me like baby birds with your mouthes open. It would also be a big help if you didn't want me to make complicated things in the morning for breakfast. In other words I really don't want to have to turn on the stove (hob). I mean I will, but I won't be happy about it. I will also probably gripe really loudly if I do have to turn it on.

The other part of this letter is about the state of this house. I know you are on your school holidays and I know you just want to play play play but my house is not a trash heap, climbing frame, race track or clothes bin. So here is how we are going to sort this out. You can quit changing clothes every five minutes and throwing the clean clothes that you only wore for 5 minutes on the floor; put them back up. Stop climbing all over my furniture and racing around the house (who knew having two doors through the living room would make this house into a perfect circle to run in). For the love of peet please start putting your trash into the bin! There are multiple bins all over the house. You are never more than 15 feet from a bin. Use them. Please.

I know if you follow these very simple guidelines that we can enjoy the rest of the summer holidays. We can do this. We only have to make it until Wednesday, then you can get back into the routine of the school year. Of course that also means you will have to get up earlier, but I guess we can only tackle so many issues at once.

Love, Mom

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Dear KiKi,

Yes, I saved a letter especially for you! You remember how last year you mastered wiping your own bottom, well guess what? Just because you are on holiday from school doesn't mean that you get to take a holiday from wiping your own bottom. Sort it out.

Love, Mom

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Dear American Lady in the Supermarket,

I couldn't help but over hear and your friend discussing school choices as we were standing in line waiting for our sandwiches to be made; you were talking very loudly after all. I know you have the right to your opinion and I respect your choice to have your child in the DoD (American schools on the base) instead of what I have chosen for my children by having them in the British schools. That is fair enough. When you however call *my* child's school "stuffy and old fashioned" (your source of knowledge in this being your child was in the school for all of 2 weeks), I do get my hackles raised. Maybe what you really meant is that they have good discipline and enforce rules? I am only saying that because your child was running around the supermarket like a crazy person and was acting like he had never heard the word "no" in his life. Maybe you should look at your son's behavior before you start bad mouthing a really good school. Just sayin'.

That Woman Tutting Behind You, Kat

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Dear Readers,

If you have your own letters please add them onto the linky! Have a safe weekend.

Love ya, Kat

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Sorting Through Memories

I went sorting through memories,

stacked in a box.

They weren't my memories,

but they meant so much.

People I didn't know,

some that I did.

All important in that moment,

but forgotten for a bit.

The memories were a bit dusty,

and a few stuck together.

I did try to sort them,

if they made sense to me or not.

They aren't my memories after all,

but they do mean a lot.

Even if they have been stuck in that box.

An Apology to my Mother

I want to take this opportunity to apologize to my mom for all the awful music that I made her listen to when I was a kid. I am sorry for the car rides where I made you blast New Kids on the Block and Debbie Gibson. I am sorry about blaring my Tiffany tape in my room. I am sorry that I listened to the Dirty Dancing tape until I knew the words to every single song. Actually, I am not really sorry about that. It was a really good soundtrack.

I am apologizing for all of this because LaLa has in the last year discovered her own teenie bopper idols that she is now worshiping. Justin Beiber, JLS and Taylor Swift are the artists that make up this fresh hell that I am drowning in. Their crooning about teen aged love and catchy songs about getting on the dance floor make me want to hurl LaLa's CD player across the room.

Of course I won't. I will just grin and bear it. I will tell her to turn it down or go play it in her own room with the door shut. I will pretend that I am enjoying it in the car. I will take it all with good humor. I will also apologize to my mom for being a pain in my mom's rear end.

A Little Help Here

As most of you know, I pretty much "wing it" when it comes to parenting. Yes, I seek the advise of my mother and grandmother. I bounce ideas off my friends. For the most part it has worked out pretty well for me. I have two fairly well behaved kids. Generally. Most of the time. At least out in public.

My biggest parenting "issue" right now is at bedtime with KiKi. She has always been a mama's girl. She wants me to be by her side all the damn time a good bit of the time. When she is upset she will just say "I want you" which doesn't exactly mean she wants me to pick her up or cuddle her, she just wants me to physically touch her. I could be just holding hands with her or putting my hand on her knee while she sits next to her, but she craves *my* physical touch. Now, onto my problem, I would really like to not be in the room with KiKi when she goes to bed. I know, I know, I know, I should have broken this habit already, but we have already established the fact that I am winging it at this whole parenting thing. Right now, I usually lay in bed with her until she goes to sleep. She has a double bed so it isn't exactly uncomfortable, but there are things that I would rather be doing like watching primetime TV getting a start on the next days housework.

So, Internet people, how do you suggest I get myself out of my 5 year olds room at night. When I leave she usually follows me. When I tell her that she needs to stay in bed, she doesn't. I also have to contend with the whimpering and the "I want you," which melts me every single time. Help!

Silent Sunday

Just My House?

Trying to make a decision on what to have for dinner at my house stinks.

Me- "The kids say they don't know what they want for dinner. In fact KiKi said "Just bring me anything" and La said "I dunno". So I am going to the commissary, what do YOU want for dinner?"

The Man- "I dunno. I don't like to make decisions like that."

Me- "So basically, you just want food to magically appear in front of you?"

The Man- "Pretty much."

Does this only happen at my house?

Dear So and So...Is It The End of Summer Holidays Yet?

Dear LaLa,

I hope you learned your lesson. I mean really, it was a rookie mistake. You should have gone and destroyed the things you were going to tear apart before you said "If you make me angry you know I am going to destroy things, right?". Threats don't work in this house missy. Threats work even less when your dad is sitting right next to me. I hope you enjoyed your afternoon sat in your bedroom contemplating the wrongness of your actions.

That'll Learn Ya, Mom

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Dear KiKi,

I love you, you know that right? Don't think I haven't noticed that you might be the laziest child in the world though. Clean your room isn't code for "pretend you are really tired, start sucking your fingers and laying about", It means clean your room. I will even give you step by step instructions, but I will not clean it for you. I am saying this for your own good. If you comply it will make your life easier, promise.

Love, Mom

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Dear Summer Holidays,

You have been a mixed bag so far. Sun was delivered in spades. Unexpected events, done. Illness/injury, covered. Good times, had by all. Rain in the UK, as expected. Can we just get the kids back in school without anything REALLY bad happening please?

With a Cherry on Top, Kat

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Dear Hurricane Irene,

Thanks for sparing Charleston. Please don't take it out on Cape Hateras too badly. Actually, I feel really odd that I said that it would hit North Carolina in general so if you could turn out to sea that would cleanse my guilt.

KThxBai, Kat

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Dear Hubby,

I know you want to blog and if you start blogging I will promote it. I promise.

Love, Kat

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Dear Spiders That Live At The Back Door of My House,

Not cool. Not cool at all. You know my feelings on spiders. Could you please quit hanging out outside my door and be gone? Take pity on me, please!!!

Yeah Thank, Kat

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Dear Readers,

If you are sick of the summer holidays give me a whoop whoop! *cough* Now, that I got that out, if you have letters, don't forget to link up. Have a safe bank holiday weekend.

Love, Kat

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